Slim Jims
by Jadeah
Summary: When Royce is sent a box of Slim Jims what will happen?


Royce came into the mess hall holding a box of 80 Slim Jims. "YES! MY DAD SENT ME SLIM JIMS!" He shouted as he did a victory as some of his teammates stared oddly at him. Normally he wasn't one to get excited, over anything. Finally after a minute he then added in, "Now I'm willing to share. Just leave me some. Now they'll be in the cabinet."

Royce didn't know it yet, but he'd come to regret sharing his beloved snack later.

-later that day-

Captain MacTavish put down his rifle and sighed as he reexamined his work on the shooting range. Not to bad for him. It had passed lunch an hour ago, but he remembered the fact that Royce was willing enough to share his jerky with the rest of the squad. He shrugged and went to where he and everyone else was told the box would be. His hand reached in the top, but came to an empty cardboard bottom.

Oddly enough, he didn't truly expect 80 slim jims to be devoured in a few hours. But with the box empty he threw it out. Only to be greeted by Ghost coming in. He pulled off his mask, letting his brown hair fall in front of his face. "I'm sick of Roach's clumsiness. For heaven's sake, how do you break a door down by accident?"

"Roach broke down a door?" Soap repeated in confusion.

Ghost nodded then sighed, "Where'd Royce put those slim jims?"

"They're gone." Soap told him, earning a weird look of astonishment and disappointment.

"How could they be gone?" Ghost questioned. "Wasn't there 80 in that box?"

"Aye," Soap answered. "Who would eat so many in so little time?"

Once again the door opened and Royce came in, "Hey Captain? Did you see Meat anywhere?"

Soap didn't truly see him since breakfast. "No I haven't. Why?"

"Nothing, just that I was wondering what happened." Royce shrugged. "No ones seen him since breakfast, apparently."

The three men glanced at each other then Royce took note of the empty box in the garbage can.

"What happened to my slim jims?" Royce asked. Then he pouted. "I didn't even get one!"

"Well neither did I," Soap told him. "The thing was empty when I came in here."

"Wasn't me," Ghost sighed. "Sorry mate."

Royce rubbed the bridge of his nose and grumbled, "Why did I share those?"

Then they were all set to a stand still by a low and painful moan from the closet nearby. Each exchanged odd glances before heading towards the closet. But before they went in, Soap grabbed a pan. Ghost grabbed the doorknob and fiddled with it. "Bollocks, it's locked."

Soap wrinkled his nose as Ghost put his mask back on. Then pushed him out of the way. With one hard kick from his combat boots, the door flew wide open. Whatever was in there groaned in the dark their vision adjusted, they saw Meat curled up on the floor, holding his stomach. As well as they saw the discarded wrappers of Royce's snacks.

"Aw, Meat!" Royce exclaimed. His friend looked up at him and squinted as Royce continued. "You ate all of them? Why the hell did you do that? SOme of us would have liked some!"

He gave him a wise ass, sickly grin. "They don't call me Meat for nothing."

"You owe me more slim jims," Royce proclaimed.

Soap just stared at the man as he struggled up. He could tell that he had probably gotten sick from eating so many. In fact, his black choppy hair was matted to his forehead in sweat. And his face was turning all the shades and hues of green.

"You look worse then when you did after watch 2girls1cup," Ghost remarked.

Meat didn't say anything to him, instead he fell to his knees and started puking on the floor. Royce sighed, "You're shitfaced."

Between heaves, Meat stuck him the middle finger. When he finished his vomit fest, Ghost went over to the kitchen and grabbed him a bottle of water. "We should get you back to your room."

Meat picked up the water and was helped up by Soap and Ghost. Royce being too angry to help him. They got him to his room, but they'd have him clean up the closet for this. One, nobody should be degraded to the point where they have to clean up Meat's mess. Two, nobody wanted to do it anyways.


End file.
